I Guess I Ought To Choose My Favorite for Dancing with the Stars Again...

So at some point last year, I tried to guess who was the favorite in Dancing with the Stars (Ralph Macchio in the nostalgic choice). Unfortunately no one sticks out to me as a nostalgic favorite quite like Ralph Macchio.

Apparently she's famous for some reason.

So, just thinking about the choices, there is no one that I can think of as a standout favorite not based on their dancing abilities. There is the choice you'd love to hate (David Arquette, who broke Monica's Jules Cobb's Courtney Cox's heart). There's the reality television choice (this year with twice the reality with a Kardashian and Kristen Cavallari from The Hills). There is the All-American choice (Hope Solo, who was a critical member of the USA women's near World Cup or J.R. Martinez, who is an Iraq War veteran).

Vote against this man. I dare you.

But sometimes, the best choice is the crazy choice. Not crazy in the sense that they are blatantly controversial. But crazy as in clinically crazy. I present to you my choice to win Dancing with the Stars.

Ron Artest, or soon to be Metta World Peace

Yes, I will say now that Ron Artest will win Dancing with the Stars. Admittedly he's not exactly the most savory person in the world. He's made a name for himself for crazy antics like thanking his psychologist after winning the championship, and of course, there's the entire name change. This isn't like the Ochocinco name change, where you could actually derive where the name is coming from (8-5 in pseudo-Spanish). He wants to be called Metta World Peace.

And that entire brawling with fans ordeal

But I've gotta admit, he seems like the most fun character on the show. There are some interesting stories (Chaz Bono's gender-twisting tale, J.R. Martinez's inspirational story, Hope Solo and the World Cup), but they don't seem charismatic. Honestly, love him or hate him, Ron Artest is entertaining. And without a true nostalgic vote, you'd expect the audience to vote for the crazies. I mean, who votes for the good dancers anyway? But that's beyond the point. When If I watch a show, I expect to be entertained. So, considering the fact that people have voted for equally polarizing dancers in the past, I'm expecting Ron Artest to make it. And I hope that we enjoy every fun-filled, insane second of it.

The Last Airbender Series: The Southern Air Temple and the Importance of Sports

With the latest hoopla with the US's run at the World Cup or Derek Jeter's 3000th hit, it seems more and more obvious that sports are a mainstay in society. But if you look at related news surrounding these incidents, you can see that sports are not just spectacle for us. There is definitely something important about sports that changes and affects people. If you look at the Avatar game mentioned in this episode called "Airball", you see that sports separates people from real life. It transports them into this perfect world where we can escape the trouble of the real world.

Aang returns to the southern air temple for the first time since running away. He first acts excited about finally returning to the air temple and seeing all of the monks, air bison, and flying lemurs. But he walks into a lifeless temple, and he sees the airball field and he convinces Sokka to play. Of course, there are many interesting questions during this scene. One of the big ones is how Sokka managed to get on top of the pole. Another is how the game is actually played. But in that moment, Aang is completely and utterly happy. This scene, seemingly pointless or merely fun, is juxtaposed with Katara hiding the Fire Nation helmet. Though this is almost certainly reading way too much into this scene, it seems that the writer is suggesting that airball is a way to hide the truth. It is a way to avoid realizing that the Fire Nation army destroyed the Air Nomads. But isn't there some truth in this? The concept that sports are a way to escape from our everyday problems is a common idea and something actually discussed in How I Met Your Mother. But how about bigger problems like this genocide? Well according to this, it seems to be true. And today seems to be the best example. Japan won the World Cup. This win is so important because of what happened to Japan, still recovering from the devastating earthquakes and tsunamis. Though they still have to rebuild, Japan could celebrate their team's win despite all of the tragedy.

Like life, the story of Aang continues when he realizes what happened to his people. It shows that sports are merely a distraction, a diversion from the troubles of the real world. We can't wrap ourselves around sports or else we will never return to the real world. Sports are not supposed to consume our lives, but sometimes it's nice to escape from it all by immersing ourselves in sports. It gives us peace of mind, if even for that one game, that one championship, that one moment.

So How About How I Met Your Mother Season Finale?

I just watched the How I Met Your Mother season finale, and I could say that I am very content in how the season ended. The season began rather poorly, but after the hiatus, they just hit the episodes out of the park. This has been some of their best episodes yet, and they will continue improving from what it seems. Just to recap, Lily is pregnant, Ted is single, and Barney is getting married. More on that in a sec.

So Marshall was right about his year. He had a horrible year, that started with losing his father and it seemed like it would end with him without a job. But Lily, despite her supposed food poisoning, was hiding a secret. She was pregnant. How about a way to end a season? The entire season was supposed to be based on the fact that Lily and Marshall were having a baby, and though it was cliched (and expected, just ask the people watching with me) to have this breakthrough at the end of the season, it seems like the perfect thing for HIMYM to do. This show thrives because it shows growth. It tells a heartfelt story within a story. This pregnancy will do wonders for HIMYM. Which reminds me, what should they name their baby?

Ted is single, which is huge. That means that the next girlfriend that Ted has will likely be the mother. I am anticipating how they reveal the mother. They did almost reveal the mother as a random woman in a coffee shop, but just another psych-out moment for HIMYM. But I guarantee you that Ted's next major relationship will be his last. I hope that they reveal the end of the series. It does not seem right to reveal the mother mid-story and then continue to tell the story about how they got married and so on and so forth. But, just watch out for Ted's next date. If he tells a corny shellfish joke, we have our mother.

Barney is getting married, which is a major step for our favorite Lothario. In my opinion, this character change in Barney culminated from meeting his father, who told him that the best step to having a better life is finding the right person. Now, the question is who is this person? Barney and Robin definitely grew closer to each other at the end of this episode. Robin, especially, seemed to have rekindled a lost flame that she had for Barney. But Barney, though probably still filled with feelings for Robin, also wanted to rekindle an old flame by the name of Nora. Nora has returned and she has challenged Barney. Now I get to play a prediction game. Will Barney's wife be Robin or Nora? From this episode, it could go either way. You have Nora agreeing to meet Barney for coffee, but we never know if Nora goes through with it. You also have Robin's longing look towards Barney after he asks Nora on a date. Both have shown signs of interest in Barney, but only one of their dreams will come true. Even in the wedding, they made sure not to reveal any details. Barney is the groom, but we never meet the bride. We got to see Marshall, Ted, and Lily, but where is Robin? Robin would certainly be at Barney's wedding, so why is she not out there with Ted? So there is valid reason that she is the bride. But we know that Barney is pursuing a relationship with Nora. And Robin does not seem to be pursuing Barney. So we are led to believe that Nora is the bride. But HIMYM people are tricky and they will not shy for the surprise ending, so it could also very well be that Robin is the bride, through similar logic. Just judging throughout the series, it is interesting that Ted refers to his friends as Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin as well as Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily. It implies that there could be a marital relationship between Barney and Robin simply because of the names given to the already married couple of Marshall and Lily. But what about Robin's crush? I think that show has caught itself in a bind if they want to prolong the will-they-won't-they of Barney and Robin by introducing this crush and stating that he will come back again in the future. Does that mean Barney and Robin won't get married? No. But it definitely will mess up with the storyline going forward. So I guess (and hope) that Barney marries Nora. I think that Robin likes Barney, but nowhere near the extent that Barney loves Nora. When they broke up, they made one very important observation. They could not maintain the relationship because they were better as friends than they were as boyfriend and girlfriend. You heard it here. Barney will marry Nora. And now I can't wait for the next season of HIMYM.

Lessons Learned from How I Met Your Mother

Many of you know (or at least now you do) that Mother's day is tomorrow. Which is fitting because today I will talk about lessons that I learned from the CBS show How I Met Your Mother. It is one of my favorite shows on television right now, and it has some of the funniest and most interesting characters on television. So here are some life lessons that you can pick up from How I Met Your Mother.

1. "I think I'm in love with you" is not appropriate to say on the first date.
2. Writing a paper in one night is not always a bad thing.
3. Don't be afraid to do something legendary.
4. You may find out that something you hated in the past is something you like in the present (as long as it/she doesn't know krav maga).
5. Don't always believe the hype.
6. Wear Halloween costumes more suitable for the present day.
7. You don't need a computer to tell you about compatibility.
8. The Lemon Law
9. You can be charitable anywhere...even a strip club.
10. If you are wasted, have someone write down their number on your arm in permanent marker.
11. Get psyched.
12. Always check "plus 1". It is a lot easier to find someone than to get rid of him.
13. A drumroll is never good enough.
14. There is always a "first" for everything.
15. True love can change a man. But so can a broken heart.
16. Long distance relationships never work.
17. A great life starts with great love.
18. Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.
19. When a woman says she's a paralegal, she is certainly not a prostitute.
20. Doubt is healthy, but hard.
21. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" actually is the greatest pick-up line of all time.
22. True love can make anything happen, even make it rain.
23. Moving on is difficult, but it only takes time.
24. Sad-sack cute is still cute.
25. Don't have huge secrets like a divorce or a death in the family.
26. Architects are sexy.
27. Marriage is the best antidote for a clingy one-night-stand.
28. Kindergarten punishment is for kids age 5 and up.
29. Watch out for crazy eyes.
30. You really can do anything on international waters.
31. 5 slaps in eternity are not actually better than 10 slaps in a row.
32. Single stamina is a real thing.
33. Watch what you say. It may come back to bite you.
34. Don't be an "I love you" slut or an "I love you" prude.
35. It is very difficult to fire someone.
36. You cannot escape the Super Bowl score.
37. Everything that happens is someone's fault. That someone is typically you.
38. Keeping stuff from exes may be troubling.
39. It's difficult to say goodbye, even if it is to a car.
40. So much stuff could happen in a 23 minute span.
41. Everyone wants true love to last.
42. There's no such thing as too strong of a relationship.
43. A hat is the best thing to cover a bad haircut.
44. Proposing to someone on a sitcom set will always work.
45. Never get a tramp stamp, no matter what level of intoxication.
46. Foreigners are sexy.
47. Everyone gets nervous, and that nervousness increases based on the awesomeness of the scenario.
48. There is nothing sweeter than being a part of a child's drawing.
49. Hotter girls are allowed to be crazier.
50. Lance Hardwood is a better porn name than Ted Mosby.
51. When you marry someone, you marry all of their problems too.
52. Ignorance is bliss. But if you really love someone, all the bad things about them turn out to be things you love about them.
53. Do not ruin Thanksgiving.
54. A trip to the past is not always a bad thing.
55. The Platinum Rule.
56. It's nice to live today without thinking about the consequences of tomorrow.
57. You can have a date in 2 minutes.
58. Nothing is better for decisions than a bracket.
59. There is always someone to scream at.
60. Revertigo.
61. There are no loopholes for the Bro Code.
62. Women find police officers sexy, no matter what causes their nosebleeds.
63. Everything you do has a purpose, though it may not be the one you intended.
64. Miracles really do happen.
65. You don't have to love something to pretend you love it.
66. Put your fullest effort into everything, even if it is as mundane as finding a burger joint.
67. Don't try too hard to get a fist bump.
68. $10 scotch is just as good as $2500 scotch.
69. A broken heart can make even a vegan eat meat. Also be willing to take opportunities when they come. And don't bring exes to weddings.
70. There are always people you'd want to avoid but confrontation is necessary.
71. The Cheerleader Effect.
72. Always stand up for your friends, no matter how alluring the Swedish are.
73. The Naked Man only works 2 out of 3 times.
74. Don't get into a fight. It is never worth it.
75. Have faith in your family.
76. Whenever there is a "friends-with-benefits" scenario, someone always gets hurt.
77. You never are too old to continue a ritual.
78. Everyone has something they don't need on their resume.
79. To create a family, all you need to find is the right person.
80. There are only four reasons why your ex wants to have lunch with you.
81. Everyone should have a front porch test.
82. There is no such thing as a good white lie.
83. You do get too old for this stuff. But you also are too young for some stuff too.
84. Everyone should have a 'thing'.
85. There is never a wait to call someone you're romantically interested in.
86. Sometimes, the world will fall into place perfectly. And creating charts are addictive.
87. The one is trying their hardest to get to you as fast as they can.
88. Life is unexpected, and sometimes the life of your dreams is not as great as the life of your reality.
89. Girlfriends are like Gremlins (don't get them wet, don't expose them to sunlight, and don't feed them after midnight).
90. Don't change yourself to find love.
91. Work hard to keep a girl around.
92. All couples need a couple couples.
93. Everybody needs to have close friends, even if you don't agree on everything.
94. Neighbors know all.
95. Two awesomes cancel each other out. And sometimes after a relationship ends, you are better off just being friends.
96. Anyone who gets too involved with work after a breakup will find someone when they least expect it.
97. It is never too late to be a part of someone's life.
98. There is always a window for opportunity, but you never know how long it will be open.
99. We all have moments in our lives which will define our last of something.
100. Girls are better than suits.
101. Drinking games at the expense of friends never end well.
102. Sports help us forget our own problems.
103. Your perception of someone will change from time to time.
104. Every has been the hooked and the hooker (stringing someone along until you find someone better).
105. Super dates are also possible.
106. That random girl could be the one.
107. A lie is a great story someone ruined with the truth.
108. Stupid decisions can work out in the end.
109. Sharing is caring.
110. Sophistication is great. But nothing is better than Robots vs. Wrestlers.
111. Everyone has baggage.
112. Know your priorities.
113. No one really knows how 'dibs' works.
114. Do not oversell somebody.
115. Eventually, everyone forgets a bad memory.
116. You're not a real New Yorker until you've taken a cab from somebody who needed it more, you've cried on the subway and not cared about it, and you've crushed a cockroach with your bare hands.
117. There are certain things that you aren't allowed to talk about in certain areas (i.e. the locker room).
118. Acting like a child somehow makes women cuter.
119. Being feared is more important to authority than being liked.
120. We all go through phases, and we all pass through them.
121. Friendship is enduring the worst of your friends, not the best.
122. There is always a blitz, someone who always leaves the room before something amazing happens.
123. There is a mermaid clock, where a manatee becomes a mermaid.
124. Sometimes, being tough is the right answer.
125. Embrace your past, regardless of how embarrassing it is.
126. Try to make your last words with someone has thoughtful and meaningful as they could be.
127. Gullibility trumps cuteness.
128. People are more desperate the day before Valentine's day.
129. A mutual hatred can lead to an eventual relationship.
130. Always follow your heart. It knows what's best for you.
131. Don't take for granted the normalcy of your life.
132. Complete and total support is not always healthy for a relationship.
133. A magician's best friend is a drunk audience.
134. We all act differently based on our choice of drink.
135. Sometimes in order to create something better, you have to knock it down.
136. Never get coffee with an ex unless you really want to get back together with them.
137. Life is all about chemistry...and timing.
138. Become a head-over-heels idiot for just that one person.
139. Never ever buy a ducky tie. #GoForBarney
140. Love is sometimes about taking a step back because sometimes you just want the other person to be happy.
141. Dating your therapist is weird. Macaroni salad is not a salad. It really is Edward James Olmos. And Germans love David Hasselhoff.
142. In the great debate of mystery versus history, choose mystery.
143. You can always turn it around.
144. Sometimes the thing you've waited your entire life for just isn't worth it.
145. Life isn't worth living unless there is a sign up because of something you did.
146. Hours can last like seconds, and seconds can last a lifetime.
147. Babies attract women.
148. You don't have to know what's wrong in order to make someone happy.
149. Sometimes private moments require a little bit of public. And you don't want to be in charge of a bar.
150. It doesn't matter where you are, as long as you have friends.
151. Bees totally hate kerosene.
152. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you do when you can't get someone out of your head.
153. Sometimes, you need closure to look at the world anew.
154. We are all haunted by our past, and sometimes the only thing we can do is move on.
155. Everyone has a hypothetical situation for everything.
156. Something will change for you in the next 3 years. Hope it is for the best.
157. Try to make every night legendary...even if it doesn't sound legendary to begin with.
158. You need a palate cleanser. And nothing sounds more official than "executive".
159. Stories help the pain go away. And Wait-for-it is the greatest middle name ever.
160. Sometimes you know in your heart who is right for you, but only time will tell if they are the one.

And remember, life is always legendary.

Glee Review: Born This Way

So mega-sized Glee episode last night! It was a very good episode, especially compared with last weeks. So the storylines. Prom is coming up and that means prom king and queen battles are everywhere. You had the favorites Finn and Quinn, but Lauren Zizes and Santana both want to wrestle the crown from Quinn's grasp. Santana wanted to team with Karofsky (as each other's beards) and bring Kurt back to McKinley. Because nothing says prom king and queen than bringing back Kurt. Lauren, and her pageant past, wants to win also, and seems to have the vote of the average Joe/Joette. But then you have true evil and deceivery. Apparently the beautiful Quinn was once Lucy Caboosey, and Lauren let everybody know. Then you have Kurt's return to McKinley, which was inevitable. Finally a sighting of Burt Hummel, pumping up the anger vibes. We all know that Karofsky is not a changed man, but sure acted that way didn't he? After Finn hits Rachel in the nose while dancing (which in my opinion was also an inevitablity), Rachel realizes that she wants a nose job, which prompts the acceptance theme for the week. But Rachel asks Quinn to be her nose model, which is surprising considering Quinn's nose job. She is eventually persuaded by flash mob not to get a nose job. P.S. to Glee: No more flash mobs. It was great with Artie, but now it was just weird. Speaking about acceptance, Emma is still dealing with her cleanybug neat freak OCD, but Will somehow gets her to seek help with uncleaned fruit. Yay strawberries blueberries! Then she proceeds to spend 48 minutes to clean a chair. And Kathleen Quinlan killed as the therapist. Best song is "Somewhere Only We Know". It seems that the Warblers are the best group on Glee. Do you see a spinoff? Best line goes to Santana. She turned up the "bitch" factor this episode. "Legend has it after I was born, I called the nurse fat." Points for Mr. Schuester for using the board for actual intellectually correct words. No more math fiascoes for Glee. Also Glee, next time you steal a joke from Mean Girls, make it a more popular one. Loved the Lebanese reference because it totally sounds and looks like lesbian.

Glee Review: A Night Of Neglect

So Glee is back! But I'll be honest. It seemed to have underachieved. I was very excited for this episode because it was the return of many new faces (Sunshine! Dustin Goolsby!) and a couple of older ones (Sandy! Terri!), and Holly Holliday was back for yet another episode. But today was just a bad episode. First off, the Academic Team side-story was interesting as a fellow nerd, and their handshake was simply hilarious. But the story was another non sequitur in the season, which did not make sense. I never took Artie as smart, and the fact that Brittany was on the team, shows some real luck to even be considering nationals. Then you have the storyline of Mercedes as a diva, which was played out so badly, it essentially turned into a caricature of divas like J-Lo, Mariah Carey, and others. Though the concept was horrible, the emotional pull between the two Glee divas (Rachel and Mercedes) was amazing, and it actually gave Mercedes a real storyline. There was also the Legion/League of Evil that consists of Dustin Goolsby, Terri, Sandy, and Sue. Though the nicknames were nice (my personal favorite was the Pink Dagger, and the gusto to which Sandy accepted his nickname), Sue used to be a great character. Now she is just annoying. Then you have the entire idea of a Night of Neglect. How do you determine a neglected artist? It gave some great numbers like Mike Chang's dance-only number, but the episode was pretty devoid of superb performances. The best performance was Mercedes' rendition of "Ain't No Way", which further helps the concept that Mercedes is one of the best vocal performers in Glee. The best line goes to Will Schuester, who can't multiply. "5000 x .25 = 20000." For an episode that revolved around an academic competition, this horrible miscalculation has to be the most ironic quote in Glee. Ever. And no Beiste sightings. And Will and Emma are back on. And Will and Holly are done. I just don't understand what Glee is doing right now.

Glee Review: Original Song

So there was a lot of stuff that went on last episode. Will has the glee kids writing original songs, Rachel and Quinn are frenemies, and Pavarotti died (leading to a beautiful solo by Kurt). Am I missing something? Oh yes I am. Meet the brand new couple of Blaine and Kurt. Or Blurt, as they shall now be known. The passion and love in that kiss between that new couple was amazing. But they had bigger fish to fry at Regionals. Sue, and her dastardly-ness, forces the kids to write original songs after they could no longer do "Sing" from My Chemical Romance. She also, once again, knows the judges for Regionals. So back at McKinley High, Quinn is set upon the Prom Queen, but she needs Finn in order to win. The problem is that Finn may still love Rachel because he just won't commit to Quinn. So Quinn "teams" up with Rachel, but she lets her know that Finn's her man. But Rachel won't have it, and then she is compelled to write the song that would later be performed in Regionals. So to recap what happened, Sue's Aural Intensity did some serious pandering, Blaine and Kurt showed unbelievable chemistry in "Candles", and Rachel took home the MVP with a (duh!) winning performance in both original songs "Get It Right" and "Loser Like Me" (inspired by Sue's dastardly-nessocity). The judges were not so great. Given the comedienne portraying her, Kathy Griffin's Palin-esque politician should have been a lot funnier. Rod Remington fortunately saved the day by adding a dash of Rod to this lady soup. Long story short, New Directions wins Regionals and is headed for Nationals. But with the hiatus coming up, a lot of storylines are beginning to develop. Who will Finn choose: Rachel or Quinn? I know that sounds so last season, but that storyline is back! What will become of Santana and Sam/Santana and Brittany/Brittany and Artie? Where is the Sunshine? What will be of Sue and her knockout performance at Regionals? Props to Glee for once again having someone meekly holding a sign, except instead of saying "Too much?" it said "Hell no" to another one of Santana's verses for "Trouty Mouth" inspired by her heterosexual life partner Sam and his huge lips. Best song of the night: "Get It Right". It was catchy, but it put over the top by Rachel's unbelievable performance. Best line of the night goes to Sue: "Actually, I did not sleep with the drummer from My Chemical Romance, but the drummer from Jimmy Eat World." I found it very funny. Bonus note: way to work in Holly into the plot. Typically, a character like that would disappear, but Will gives us a little glimpse into that relationship. So the hiatus is coming up, which sucks, but hopefully Glee will be back with some power.

Glee Review: Sexy

In this week's Glee episode, Holly Holliday returns! Actually, I'm not too hot on the idea of Gwyneth Paltrow being a good singer, but she was very entertaining. Her return is far from the biggest news. There is of course Emma and Carl with their (ahem) intimacy problems, Kurt's "gas pain", and Santana's new realization. Well, the New Directions kids apparently have no knowledge of sex, there are only two people in the celibacy club (until Puck, Artie, Zizes, and Santana joins), and Zizes and Puck want to make a sex tape (which turns out to be illegal). So Holly decides to teach the glee kids about sex through song! I mean, how else is anything learned on this show? It works out well until Will had to join in the fun. He likes Holly, but Holly is damaged goods and doesn't think that Will would do well with her. Santana and Brittany are having problems (not like breakfast problems), so they act like adults and talk to Holly. This was a beautiful performance by Santana, showing a vulnerability only Kurt has shown so far. It was very impressive, especially learning that Santana loves Brittany. Sadly, Brittany has her eyes set on Artie, whom she loves. This is going to be an important relationship (not like that Sam, you gullible blonde) because it will definitely change the dynamic between the two. They have two directions. One is that Brittany breaks up with Artie and chases Santana. The other is that they bring in another character (like a female Blaine) who can act as the new girl for Santana. I hope that this doesn't change their relationship too much in the following episodes because I really like their chemistry. Kurt has no idea how to act sexy, so Blaine tries to talk with him. Unfortunately, Kurt is into romance and believes that the touch of the fingertips is the sexiest thing ever. So Blaine convinces Burt to talk to Kurt about sex, leading to another great sequence between these two great actors. To think that Mike O'Malley used to be on Yes, Dear. Emma is still a virgin even after 4 months of marriage (that darn hose monster!!). So in rebuttal of Holly's sex education, she sings "Afternoon Delight" (just watch Arrested Development to get a full appreciation of the incorrect/incestuous usage of that song). Carl sets up an appointment where it is revealed that (gasp!) Emma is still in love with Will, leading to Carl divorcing Emma (bye John Stamos). This opens the door again for the Will-Emma relationship, but I'm liking Will and Holly as a potential couple. Then of course, the return of Finn and Quinn! I like them together, but I don't know how this is gonna work out. Best song will go to the Warblers for their rendition of "Animal", which was the best vocal performance of the night. The best line will go to Finn, over Brittany (who seems to be well educated in the workings of Woody Woodpecker): "Cucumbers can give you AIDS?". Sometimes I forget how naive Finn really is (hot tub baby FTW!). Beiste sighting: her laugh at the potential "That's what she said" joke made for perfect comedy. Also check out (oh you know what I mean) Will in "Do You Wanna Touch Me". Very funny.

Ranking the Remaing 11 Glee Clubbers from the Original New Directions

You already may know that I am a major Gleek. You also know that I am quite fond of the internet. Well the two worlds collide yet again. You may have heard of a site 11 Points and I am going to do the same thing today. So if you watch Glee, you would know that there are only 11 remaining members of the original New Directions, and although one of them is on a different team, they are still all on the show. So here is my ranking for the most entertaining of the remaining Glee members.

Oh Matt Rutherford, we hardly knew thee.

11. Tina Cohen-Chang
I love her character to death, and I like how they are incorporating some storylines around her. But she has no depth, and unlike other characters, she seems to have very little back story. It doesn't help that she rarely is the lead singer, and that she dumped a cripple for a hot Asian. Oh well. This is what you get when you mess with the warrior.

10. Quinn Fabray
She is no longer a Cheerio, but is that really a good thing for her? I was never a big fan of Quinn ever since she cheated on Finn, but I'm actually starting to hate her more. She was a big storyline when she had the baby, but she has so many flaws. She is only a decent singer, but she is a poor entertainer. She also cannot cry at all. But she has depth. She has character flaws that are easily understood, but in terms of entertainment, that is all she has over Tina.

9. Mike Chang
Don't get me wrong. I love Mike Chang. He is the most talented dancer on New Directions and whenever he talks, we know it's gotta be funny. But he is being used more as a gimmick than a real character. Even though he has been promoted to the starting line-up, he still acts like he really only background music. Until he dances. He attracts attention and actually improves songs by his ability to dance.

8. Santana Lopez
She is the evil queen and she can only get better. But right now, she only works when she is being evil or with Brittany. She is another person who started out as really only part of the background. Then she got a few songs in the second half of the first season and is really coming into her own. I don't think that she is that great of a singer, but she is strikingly gorgeous and gives the couple of male viewers of Glee something more to look forward to.

7. Brittany S. Pierce
Oh Brittany. She will sometimes deliver the funniest line, but she will rarely have much character. She epitomizes dumb blonde, even though all she is doing is really being a second version of Karen from Mean Girls. I'm not saying that she isn't entertaining because she is. She has unbelievable athleticism and is an incredible dancer. Her singing I could do without, but she has a decent voice, much like a lot of the people before her. I like her character, but I don't think they are using her as a character. Like "Other Asian" Mike Change, Brittany is turning into "Dumb Blonde", and I think that she could do better than that.

6. Artie Abrams
Artie is being completely underused by the Glee creators. He has a great singing voice, but they have apparently decided that he is only useful as a rapper, which is something he can't do. Give him his guitar back. Have another dream sequence where he is standing. The reason he is this high is because of these two talents. He can play a guitar unlike anyone in Glee (other than Puck of course), and he is a great dancer. It's a shame that Glee can't realize the unused potential in Artie.

5. Mercedes Jones
Mercedes is the third best diva in Glee, so she has to stop using that. She has no good storylines, other than the entire weight issue and the best friends with Kurt thing. So you may be wondering why she is so high up. Well she can sing, and she lets that be known. She had a stirring rendition of "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" as well as Glee Hall of Fame song "Bust Your Windows". She has a powerful voice and whenever she sings, it is frightening.

4. Finn Hudson
Poor Finn. He went from star quarterback to glee club outcast to cheated boyfriend to sad gullible sap to good boyfriend to creepy stalker to good boyfriend again all in the first season. Finn doesn't have the best male vocals (that would go to Kurt), but he does have the second best storylines. First he had the pregnancy with Quinn until he realized that Quinn cheated on him. Then he had the will-they-won't-they between him and Rachel, which was slightly overdone. But the best part about Finn is that you don't worry as much about his voice because he commands the stage. He is an entertainer that can sing, as opposed to a singer that can entertain. Yeah, he has some swagger now, but his true talent isn't as the character of Finn, but as the entertainer of Finn.

3. Noah "Puck" Puckerman
He and Kurt are the two best male vocals on Glee when it comes to the students. Throw in the fact that he is handsome and built, you have the makings of a great character. Sure he played bad guy for most of the first season, but he is really starting to change. He is more of an enforcer or bodyguard. And then he played lovestruck so well when he was swept off his feet by Zizes. I don't like this storyline that much, but it is played so well by Puck that I can't help but smile a little when he finally gets the girl. Also, he can rock the guitar. So he has that going for him.

2. Rachel Berry
Hands down the best vocalist on Glee. She has unbelievable range and power in her voice. Unfortunately, she is a little too good as the ultra-competitive and talented diva that is Rachel. She abuses the ability to be as annoying as possible to the pain of the viewers. She was only an okay girlfriend to both Jesse and Finn. Also sometimes, she is put into awkward situations that are made even more awkward by her. I think that her ability to sing trumps all of that, but I would agree with people who think that she has to tone it down a couple of notches.

1. Kurt Hummel
One of the best actors on Glee. He has all of the great storylines. He can sing with emotion that makes the audience sympathize with him. He and his father have a great relationship to work with and that is what makes Kurt so entertaining. Kurt is one of the best parts about Glee and it is his ability to sing and the story behind him that makes it work.

Nerds of the '90s...TODAY

I'm feeling a little bit nostalgic today. I watch television today, and I realize that I miss quality television programming like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Family Matters, and Saved By The Bell during prime time. But these shows are special for many reasons. One is that they are in syndication and because of that, I have probably seen almost every single episode of each of these shows (thank you TBS!). The other is that they feature very prominent and famous nerds from the 1990s. They are Carlton Banks, Screech Powers, and Steve Urkel (as opposed to his alter ego, Stefan Urquelle). Now, all of them were the same in the 1990s. They were awkward, socially inept, and pure hilarity. Unfortunately, time did not treat them all well. There were different paths for each nerd.

There is the path of Screech Powers or Dustin Diamond. He used to be the sweet, awkward nerd chasing after Lisa Turtle in Bayside. He was Zack Morris' best friend and the valedictorian, over his equally smart and hard working friend Jessie Spano. He was the perfect foil to Zack Morris' pure confidence and AC Slater's brawn. Yes, his portrayal of the typical high school nerd was very stereotypical and fell back on lame bug references and generally creepy tendencies. But in all of that creepiness was an endearing, but nerdy, character that America knew and loved.

Pictured: Screech Powers, NOT Novak Djokovic

Unfortunately, time did not do well for Screech. He took the route of most child stars and became a raving lunatic. I kid, of course, but his descent for stardom is pretty much the usual when dealing with child stars. He never became famous after his turn as Screech Powers, so he did what any regular washed-up star would do and joined as many reality television shows he could. But he made enemies nearly everywhere he went, especially on Celebrity Fit Club. He had a sex tape, wrote a tell-all autobiography which talked about all of the goings-on in the SBTB background, and pretty much became a total jerk. He shed his nerdiness for the worse. Instead of being considered a nerd, he is now considered a tool.

Pictured: Dustin Diamond, NOT Doug from The Hangover

The next nerd is Steve Urkel. He was the sweetest, but undoubtedly most awkward, nerd of them all. He had the suspenders, the giant glasses, and the clumsiness. He even had his own catchline ("Did I do that?). But, like Screech, he was in love with a woman way out of his league named Laura. Steve had more gadgets and inventions than Screech, including a working nuclear reactor and a cloning machine. He also had a suave clone named Stefan Urquelle. The show went a little crazy near the end, but Steve was always a major draw. He was funny, clumsy, and of course endearing. He is one of the better nerds on television.

Steve Urkel, suspenders and all

Well, Steve Urkel matured. A lot. Jaleel White, who played Steve Urkel, is one guy you would not want to mess with. Steve Urkel would back away from a fight, but Jaleel White looks like he would start one. It was pretty clear that Steve Urkel would grow out of his nerdy shell and become a smooth talking player (just look at that portrayal of Stefan Urquelle. Give Jaleel White his Emmy now!). He also was arrested for assault so he actually will fight you. If you look at the picture, you will realize that that man is not someone to be messed with. Instead of being considered a nerd, he is now a pimp.

Jaleel White, pimpin' outfit and all

Then we come to Carlton Banks. He was spoiled and elitist. He was snobbish. He had a shrewd business sense. He was bound for Princeton. He had some great moves and he could sing. Carlton Banks was a great character on a great television show. But he was a nerd. He followed all of the rules, over-studied everything, and had very little luck with the ladies (for the most part). But he was a nice guy on many levels and was a great part of the Banks family.

Carlton Banks circa 1990s

Now, he really isn't that much different. I mean, he isn't a nerd or elitist, but he hasn't drastically changed his appearance or demeanor. He will always be known as Carlton Banks, and though the other two entries will also be known for their nerdiest role, Alfonso Ribeiro, who played Carlton Banks, has not done much to alter his nerdiness. I think that that is why Carlton Banks has aged the best of all three showcased nerds. He allowed nature to do its work. He never really shed his nerdy shell.

Carlton Banks circa 2000s

So there are the three 90s nerds. But I think that you, as viewers, deserve something more. I mean, it's not unusual for a blogger to be kind to his readers. So here it is. I present to you, Carlton Banks.

Ralph Macchio: Your Future Dancing With The Stars Winner

Now I have never actually, willingly seen Dancing With The Stars. But I may start because of one specific celebrity on the show. Now this isn't the celebrity you are thinking of.

Because nothing says drop dead gorgeous quite like Jenny Craig

I kid. But I'm not rooting for Kirstie Alley or Hines Ward or whatever non-celebrity they have on the show.

The Situation! Um...no just a generic tool

No, I will be rooting for Daniel-san aka Ralph Macchio. Yes, the baby-faced Macchio will be competing on DWTS and I could not be happier. Ralph Macchio is known to many as the baby-faced protagonist in The Karate Kid. And to the younger viewers that I have, yes, the original karate kid is not Will Smith's son, but Mr. Macchio.

As for Hilary Swank...

I am very excited because I have never rooted so hard for anybody on DWTS, although I rooted very hard against somebody in last season's DWTS. As well as the season before that. For you non-followers, that would be Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol Palin and mom of the year Kate Gosselin. But Ralph Macchio is just the perfect nostalgia boost for me in DWTS.

Say no to this face. I dare you

Ralph Macchio is just the perfect contestant for DWTS too. As of late, they have been trying to generate controversy/viewership by getting very outspoken characters (like Palin and Gosselin and even the Situation). But they are returning to their roots. They are attracting people who are famous for older generations, and some very old-at-heart young people. Macchio is the perfect mix between nostalgia and current fame. So good luck Ralph Macchio on this season of DWTS. Vote for him. And please somehow insert the crane kick. And Mr. Miyagi. And maybe Elizabeth Shue.

How I Met Your Mother: What Will Become of Barney and Nora?

Typically, when television shows use romance to enhance the plot, I see it as trite and annoying. But this is not the case with Barney and his new found love Nora (played by the lovely Nazanin Boniadi). In today's episode, Barney has to wear a heart monitor, which will essentially track his heart during his date with Nora. Barney believes that he lied to her about wanting a family, but Lily points out that Barney lied about lying. His heart literally skipped a beat, which, though a very lame joke, made for a very heartwarming moment for Barney. He approached Nora at brunch with her parents and accepted the fact that he wanted everything that she did. Or did he? In a stunning turn, Barney envisions what it could have been, playing out the entire scenario outside of the restaurant. Barney found the person he knew he loved and walked away from her. This is typically when I would be angry at my television. Why is such a great show using such a cliched plot method to forward their episodes? I had a right to be angry because they did the same exact thing with Robin in a will-they-won't-they scenario. But there is something about Barney that makes me root for him whenever he has the chance to actually be in a relationship. I don't know if it is how well Neil Patrick Harris plays Barney Stinson, but I always want him to find true love and I thought that he found it with Nora. But this is a great storyline for Barney and that is why I found this specific plot twist so intriguing. How I Met Your Mother has been extremely good as of late, despite a weak first half of their season. They have been developing their characters very well, especially Marshall (played by Jason Segel) and Barney. Barney will be now dealing with two new people in his life. One will be his father (Jerry Whitaker played by the hilarious John Lithgow) and the other will be Nora. I don't think that this is the last we've seen of Nora. I mean, she works with Robin, so I'm sure we'll meet Nora once again. I think Nora and Barney will end up together because there was so much fanfare leading up to Nora's appearance that I can't believe that she will be a one-off character. Do I think that Nora and Barney will live their happily ever after? I doubt it, but I do think that they will give it a shot. Who knows? Maybe it is their wedding where Ted will meet his future wife and the eponymous mother? But for now, we can at least be thankful that Barney has found someone who he will love, but such a victory is bittersweet for he can not call her his own.

Glee Review: Blame It On The Alcohol

Another Tuesday has come and gone, and another Glee review is created on my blog. In "Blame It On the Alcohol", Principal Figgins asks Will to have New Directions perform at the Alcohol Awareness assembly about a song that shows the dangers of alcohol. Rachel, on the other had, is having trouble creating a song (really? "My Headband"?), so she decides to live a little and throw a glee club party. This went extremely well after Puck broke into her fathers' alcohol drawer. Was it just me or can Mike Chang drink? Finn, who has been really dickish the last couple of episodes, plays the character of reason as the designated driver and the guy who controls the drunken horde. Then it's spin-the-bottle time! Sam and Brittany make out, leading to the hysterical wrath of Santana and the saddened/angry gaze of Quinn. But the big news is that Blaine made out with Rachel. The next morning went well after a couple of Bloody Maries, and somehow Will could not realize that any of them were drunk. So looking to blow off some steam, he and the Beiste go out to a bar and get plastered/smashed/shwasted/(add your own euphemism here). Will then proceeds to grade his students' quizzes drunk (leading to all A+'s!). But then Will drunk-dials Sue. This, followers, is why you never call anyone when you are that drunk. Beiste is right though. You can't stop kids from drinking. You just have to make them aware of the consequences that drinking has. Meanwhile, Blaine and Rachel begin to date, and obviously Kurt is crushed. Kurt confronts Blaine and they have a falling apart. Then Kurt confronts Rachel and Rachel vows to kiss Blaine sober, to see if the sparks are there still. Then you had a good Burt and Kurt moment, though it treated Burt as a caricature as opposed to previous times when he acted more realistic. Then the assembly, which apparently (and truthfully) seem to always end in riots. This one ended a little bit worse with Santana and Brittany throwing up in the song. Then the kicker. That drunk dial that Will gave Sue? It was played out over the intercom for the entire school to hear. Including Emma. With Blurt/Kaine in limbo, I'm pulling for Will and Emma again. I know Will is kinda a tool, but that ending of the first half of the first season really was the epitome of Glee. Fortunately, the glee club was considered a success and everything returned to normal. They threw in a little bit of a "if you drink, drink responsibly" part, but it felt right with the episode. And last bombshell, Blaine is gay, realizing this with the help of Rachel. But Rachel doesn't have a problem with that because she can now write her song?? Okay, Glee. That'll do. The best line goes to Principal Figgins: "Michael Dukakis could not make it due to indifference." He delivered the line so well, acting like a real sad sap. I don't think Iqbal Theba gets enough credit for his role as Figgins. Also gotta love "Ke dollar sign ha" right? Best song is really difficult to tell because none were really that great. I liked "Blame It" and "Don't You Want Me", but no song in this episode really sticks out as superb. Also, am I the only one who likes the fact that Beiste always mouths the words of the song? I really like her as a character because she is really intimidating, but she is also very sweet (just remember Artie's gift from Christmas). Also one last thing. I'm gonna start looking for the different types of drunk girls at parties now (teary, hysterical drunk; angry drunk; happy drunk; acting-like-a-stripper drunk; needy, overly-loving drunk).

Glee Review: Comeback

So, today's episode was at times good, at times funny, and at times just plain awkward. First thing, why is this week's assignment to choose an anthem? That just seems like a really random and difficult to interpret sort of thing to do. In other news, Sam decided to become Justin Bieber and I was truly worried that, though he is a phenomenon, Justin Bieber would get his own tribute episode. I'm not disrespecting his mass appeal, but I thought that tribute episodes should be for people who have had a major impact on music, like Madonna. Then all of the other guys, except Finn (who is starting to turn out to be the bad seed now that Puck has gone completely good guy on us), join the Justin Bieber Experience and it drives the girls mad. Quinn and Finn have their flirtatious moment (artists apparently turn Quinn on), but it was in private. It doesn't have to be anymore now that Santana broke up Quinn and Sam because Quinn couldn't look Sam in the eyes and tell him that she doesn't have anything to do with Finn. Sue tried to commit Sue-icide, and with that she joined the glee club. She at first tried to sabotage the glee club, but Will tried to appeal to her nice side by bringing her to the pediatric cancer center. This may be some of the most beautiful and touching moments in this series as Sue starts to look like a real human being. But she has to turn around and lead Aural Intensity now that she has the musical spirit. Last but (not necessarily) least was Rachel using Brittany to spark her own comeback. It was weird watching everyone start to turn into Rachel, but Brittany was right. Everyone thinks very poorly of Rachel. So the best line goes to Sue: "I wonder if I could get that girl to join the Cheerios" after watching Sam (not a girl) perform "Baby". Best song goes to the diva-off between Mercedes and Rachel: "Take Me or Leave Me." Some of the best vocals and most powerful music after the hiatus. Probably will go down as one of the best songs of this season. Well comments, concerns, insults, advice, etc? Divulge below.

Glee Review: Sue Sylvester's Shuffle

So Glee is back! I am a self-identified Gleek, and I think I will review every single episode. Now this won't be anything too intense, just some thoughts on the songs and the story as a whole. So the song choices were pretty solid. I think that "Bills, Bills, Bills" was the most fun song to listen to, but you have to give mad props to the theatrics involved in "Thriller/Heads Will Roll" (BTW, why didn't the Glee cast do the half-time show? They would have done so much better than the Black Eyed Peas). I loved the signs at the football game. My personal favorite was "#22 is a Ninja" referring to Mike Chang (who did the coolest zombie impression ever). I thought that the plot was very well done considering how weird it may have been. I really liked Will Schuester's comment towards Karofsky. I'm liking that these typically one-dimensional background characters are starting to develop. Sure they retracted back to their old selves, but it was nice. Best line of the night goes to Sue Sylvester (or is it Syvlester?). I may be a little childish, but I really like the fact that she still calls Santana "sandbags". So here's the quote (paraphrased of course): "Just for safe measure, slap yourself with a chicken cutlet." Now I won't get much agreement out of this, but I loved this part. And how about that twist? Now I knew (from reading Entertainment Weekly) that Sam and Quinn were done, and I knew that Sam would end up with Santana and Quinn with Finn. But I didn't realize that it would start so soon. And we need more Blaine and Kurt. Undoubtedly the best couple ever. Also loved the Katie Couric/Barbara Walters/Diane Sawyer bit. Apparently Sue Sylvester beat out Tiger Woods, the economy, Dina Lohan, Mel Gibson, and others for Loser of the Year. Fantastic!

Thoughts on the 2011 Golden Globes

Okay, a bit of a disclaimer. I've always thought that the Golden Globes (and the Hollywood Foreign Press Association) wasn't really a great rewards show. I mean, they force films (like The Tourist) into the awards race, while neglecting more deserving films. Same goes with actors. They rely on star power rather than power in the performance (as noted by Johnny Depp's two nominations). But, they are reliable, at least when considering ramifications on the Oscars. So I guess that kinda balances it out. But tonight was a weird night. So here are some thoughts on the 2011 Golden Globes.

1) Wait...did they seriously just win?

Tonight was full of surprises. It got started early with Katey Sagal winning for her role in Sons of Anarchy. Two notes on Sagal: 1. She is really, really hot. She may be 55 (or so), but she is really beautiful. 2. She may have deserved to win, in all honesty. Sagal is one of those actors who gets overlooked a lot and she puts in great performances on Sons of Anarchy. Do I think that someone else in that category deserved to win? Maybe, but overall, the Best Actress-TV Drama category was pretty much stacked. Anyone who won in that category deserved it. Next surprise was Carlos beating out both The Pacific and Temple Grandin for Best TV Movie, Miniseries, etc. I don't really care about this category, but it's a great water cooler topic. But the biggest surprise is the love for Glee. Now I am a self-professed Gleek, but I will agree that this season has been rather weak all-around. And Chris Colfer and Jane Lynch, as talented as they both are, were not necessarily the most deserving. But this is more of a gleeful (sorry) shock than anything else. I am very happy for Colfer, Lynch, and Glee, but I was more surprised at their success.

2) Wait...did he just say that?

Ricky Gervais tiptoed the line between hilarious and insulting all night. He made jabs at Charlie Sheen's alcoholism, Robert Downey Jr.'s former criminal life, The Tourist, and Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic tendencies. He knew no bounds, even going as far as to insult the entire HFPA by questioning how The Tourist squeaked into the Best Movie-Comedy ("they also accept bribes"). And then we got a look at Johnny Depp's reaction. Priceless. And of course you have Robert De Niro. I love him to death, but he had one joke that just crossed the line. He talked about how the waiters were deported. Most awkward silence ever.

3) Best Dressed is...

I don't care. I'm a guy. Even though January Jones was absolutely, positively stunning in her dress. As was Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. And Megan Fox looked very, very confused on stage. And that slit in her dress probably says a lot about her.

4) The big winner is...

The Social Network. Best Movie-Drama, Best Director (David Fincher), Best Screenplay (Aaron Sorkin), and Best Score. Not a bad take. Undoubtedly the favorite to win Best Picture at the Oscars.
Boardwalk Empire. Best TV Show-Drama, Best Actor-Drama (Steve Buscemi)
Glee. Best TV Show-Comedy, Best Supporting Actor (Chris Colfer), Best Supporting Actress (Jane Lynch)
These two shows weren't expected to do much. But they came in as dark horses and won the race (pardon the pun).

Well those are my thoughts. If you have your own, which I'm sure you do, sound off in the comments.